In this expert roundup, we delve into the nuanced and transformative world of Tantra, a practice that transcends mere physicality to touch the spiritual and emotional facets of human existence. Our contributors, seasoned professionals in sex and relationships, offer a tapestry of insights reflecting the diversity and depth of the Tantric path.
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Janice Lee - Sex & Relationships Coach
For those venturing into the transformative realm of tantra, the essence lies in embracing the journey with an open heart and a spirit of exploration. My paramount advice is to cultivate the art of mindfulness.
Tantra is not merely a series of practices, but a profound way of connecting with oneself and the universe through the portal of the present moment. In the dance of tantra, every breath, touch, and gaze becomes a sacred communion, an opportunity to transcend the mundane and touch the divine within and around us. It's about slowing down, shedding the layers of expectation and judgment, and allowing oneself to be fully immersed in the here and now. This presence invites a deeper awareness of our bodies, our energies, and the subtle languages of our souls. Approach tantra as a journey rather than a destination, where the path itself is laced with discoveries, insights, and awakenings.
Let curiosity be your guide, and patience your companion, as you explore the depths and heights of your being. Remember, tantra is not about mastering techniques but about fostering a profound connection with life's sacred essence, within and without. In this sacred exploration, you'll find that tantra is more than an ancient tradition; it's a doorway to a more vibrant, connected, and spiritually attuned way of living. Embrace this journey with an open heart, and let the transformative power of presence guide you to the untapped wellsprings of joy, intimacy, and spiritual fulfillment that reside within.
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Graham Stevenson - Sex & Relationships Coach
Tantra is a word that has been abused and made to mean all sorts of things. Originally, it was a way of understanding life with disciplines to help bring awareness and deal with distractions and impediments to being fully present and truly alive.
Tantric massage is a way of arousing the energy of aliveness through sensual and erotic touch to bring about that awareness. It may involve orgasm but it needn't; it may be sexual but that's not its ultimate aim. It isn't a service for immediate sexual gratification with happy endings. It could be an experience of touch and erotic energy with a blissful ending ... something few of us have experienced or have within our erotic repertoire.
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Nick Trichkov - Tantra Expert
Make a distinction between going beyond your comfort zone and surpassing your personal boundaries. By challenging the confines of comfort, Tantra teaches that one can unlock hidden potentials, paving the way for a more enriched and fulfilling life.
Nonetheless, authenticity is paramount in Tantra, and upholding personal boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy and genuine spiritual practice. The concept of sacred space is integral to Tantra, where personal boundaries play a vital role in creating and sustaining this sacred space.
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Kristen O'Guin - Sex & Relationships Coach
If you are drawn to learn Tantra, or what might be called "Sacred Sexuality," be sure to research teachers and organizations before working with anyone to be sure they provide a safe space. Many teachers do provide a safe space, but unfortunately, some teachers are not safe.
One red flag to look for is if the teacher or organization allows for sex between teachers and students. While there could be a time and place for a teacher to have sex with an adult student, the default should be that teachers recognize the power differential and abstain from sex with current or recent students. Some other red flags are around consent. For example, if a teacher makes you second-guess your own boundaries or tells you that you shouldn't have boundaries because they know what is best for you, they are not safe. If you're in a workshop space, every participant should feel supported in abstaining from participating in anything that they are not comfortable doing. If there is pressure to go along with the group no matter what, this is a teacher to avoid.
Another red flag is if the teacher says they heal people by having sex with them and that you need receive this sort of healing.
If you'd like more information, there's a Facebook group called "Tantra Not Trauma" in which you can search for names of teachers or organizations you're interested in. Also, the group "Safer Sex-Positive and Spiritual Communities" (AKA 3SC), of which I'm a member, has a list of helpful resources ~ https://3sc.community/resources/. While it is important to do your research, there are indeed many great teachers out there, so please enjoy the process of finding the right teachers for you.
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Paul Field - Sexological Bodyworker
Exploring tantra offers profound opportunity for healing intimacy, embodied spirituality and erotic awakening. Tantra is not about fancier sex positions. At its core, it is conscious loving presence.
Bring beginner’s mind to living fully awake in your senses, intentionally directing energy to nourish connection. Start solo, awakening to the current of lifeforce energy within. Through breath, meditation and sensual self-touch, you can unblock channels where trauma may linger as tension. Open to sensations and emotions with curiosity not judgment. Notice areas calling for healing. By clearing your own pathways first, you can channel energy healthily with a partner later. When ready to create an experience with a partner, communicate your intentions, desires and boundaries clearly. Have the intention to create and enter a sacred space. Make eye contact. Breathe together. Look for everything that is beautiful in your partner, and aim to bring out what is beautiful in yourself.
What surfaces emotionally or physically may surprise you as energetic blockages release. Start gently and with trusted people. Know that while your energy is endless, your capacity to hold intense energies expands gradually.
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Final Words
The transformative journey into Tantra, as highlighted by our esteemed panel of sex and relationships experts, offers diverse pathways for personal and spiritual growth.
If you're intrigued by the world of Tantra and wish to delve deeper, consider reaching out to any of the professionals featured in this roundup. Whether you're navigating challenges, seeking clarity, or simply curious about expanding your horizons, these experts can provide guidance, support, and the tools necessary for a fulfilling Tantric journey. Their diverse backgrounds and approaches mean that there's likely a perfect match for your individual needs and questions related to Tantra or their specific areas of expertise.
