Maintaining a strong and intimate connection with your partner can often feel like an uphill battle. With demands from work, family, and social obligations, it's easy for couples to drift apart, neglecting the very foundation that brought them together. Recognizing the importance of nurturing these relationships, we reached out to a group of seasoned professionals specializing in sex and relationships. Their insights offer a rich tapestry of strategies aimed at helping couples strengthen their bonds and rekindle the spark that may have dimmed over time.
Each expert brings a unique perspective, emphasizing different aspects of relationship enrichment—from words of affirmation and non-sexual touch to daily rituals and meaningful communication. These varied approaches underline the fact that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to maintaining connection and intimacy. Instead, they highlight the importance of understanding your partner's needs, desires, and love languages, as well as the value of intentional, consistent efforts to nurture the relationship.
As you delve into the wisdom shared below, consider how each tip can be adapted to fit your unique relationship dynamic. The goal is to inspire a deeper, more fulfilling connection between you and your partner, ensuring that your bond not only survives but thrives in the face of everyday challenges.
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Jason Polk - Couples Counselor and Relationship Expert
Due to our career and parenting priorities, partners often feel forgotten and not cared for. For couples to add sexual intimacy to their relationship, it’s important to have a foundation of emotional and physical intimacy.
Actively appreciating our partner is a form of affirmation and can create emotional intimacy. For example, “Thank you for being thoughtful with the kids.” Or “I appreciate all the hard work you do for us.”
Having a non-sexual touch ritual, such as greeting each other with a warm hug when reuniting at home, can go a long way. It’s also helpful for the kids to see that warm greeting as they know their parents are fond of each other and taking care of each other.
For some couples (me included), giving each partner time for themselves can be a form of flirting. It’s a way for partners to recharge without the pull of taking care of others, and this can free up bandwidth for sexual desire to reemerge.
Another non-traditional way of flirting for busy parents is taking things off each other’s plate. For example, making your partner lunch before they go or doing a chore you don’t normally do. It’s caring for your partner while combating stress and feeling overwhelmed – two feelings that don't usually lead to more sexual intimacy.
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Tanya Peterson - Sexuality and Intimacy Specialist
Currently, we are experiencing what I would refer to as a "connection crisis," individuals are increasingly yearning for more profound and intimate relationships.
To address this, fostering daily connections with your partner is more important than ever. I recommend expressing appreciation regularly, articulating three specific things you value about your partner each day. I also advise couples to establish a daily connection ritual.
Consider this time sacred and high priority. This ritual involves couples focusing exclusively on one another – perhaps sharing a quiet moment with a glass of wine and discussing the day after their children go to bed. The desire to feel wanted and needed can be met through simple gestures such as holding hands, forehead kisses, or thoughtful texts, significantly impacting the sense of connection within a relationship.
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Kim Coffin - Sex & Relationships Coach
Foreplay is so important, it is where the intimacy and connection starts, where we’re able to start deepening, and come back home into our bodies so that we can surrender to the present moment with our partner. It’s about slowing down, it’s about sensual touch, play, teasing, eye gazing, and it’s about bringing in some communication practices, for example talking about your fears, loves, and desires.
It’s about really allowing yourselves to come back into the present moment to be, to feel and then to create that intimacy between each other and that connection, so it can go deeper and that is what makes epic, epic sex.
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Layla Ashley - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Relationship Specialist
Couples can keep connecting better by spending quality time together consistently. Work it into your lifestyle and calendar rather than just relying on times when you feel like it. Set a weekly date night. Avoid distractions such as electronics while spending quality time with your partner. It can be easy to take each other for granted if you’ve been together awhile. Turning off your phones to have a quality conversation and interaction, can increase happiness in couples.
Tune into each other’s love language, and show love in a way each likes to receive it. Rather than assuming your partner already knows how you feel, say the unspoken gratitude, acknowledgements, and appreciation verbally.
Consciously setting aside regular time to have this emotionally intimate experience with each other can greatly enhance your relationship!
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Janice Lee - Sex & Relationships Coach
Deep and lasting connections between couples transcend the mere physical, it embraces the very foundation of emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and the presence of love.
Consistent gestures of endearment play a crucial role in cultivating harmony and vulnerability between partners. Non-sexual touch, a gentle caress, a reassuring hug, or a simple handhold, speaks volumes in the language of love and comfort. These gestures of affection serve as tangible manifestations of your presence and care, offering comfort and connection without the necessity of words. They remind us that in the quietest moments, the simplest touch can bridge hearts, conveying empathy, support, and a profound sense of belonging.
Words of affirmation serve as powerful conduits of love and appreciation, reminding your partners of their value and the unwavering support in their endeavours. Regular, heartfelt affirmations can fortify the bonds of love, ensuring that the foundation of the relationship remains strong even through life's inevitable challenges.
Flirting, on the other hand, adds a playful, exhilarating spark to the relationship, keeping the flame of romance alive. It's a reminder that even in the most mundane moments, there exists an undercurrent of attraction and desire that is uniquely theirs to explore and enjoy. This lighthearted interaction encourages continuous discovery and appreciation.
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Leah Spasova - Psychologist Specialising in Sex & Relationships
Life gets busy, we get used to each other and often end up taking our partners for granted as we feel swept by the responsibilities and stresses that await ahead. Hence, one of my top tips for the couples I work with is to create Daily Rituals, Traditions and Projects they do together and look forward to.
Daily Rituals: Daily rituals involve small, consistent activities that couples can perform together every day to maintain a sense of connection and intimacy. Traditions: Traditions are recurring events or activities that couples establish to celebrate their relationship, creating memories, a sense of history and shared meaning. Projects: Projects are joint endeavours that couples undertake to achieve a common goal or interest, fostering teamwork and shared accomplishment.
Take the time to discuss these ideas with your partner and choose the ones that resonate with both of you. Adapt them to suit your unique interests and desires. Remember, the goal is to create shared experiences, build companionship, and foster a deeper sense of partnership. If you wish to read my article on the topic featuring ideas and more information, read here.
Final Words
The insights from our panel of relationship and sexuality experts provide a multifaceted approach to deepening connections between partners.
These contributions collectively underscore the need for continuous, intentional actions to maintain and enhance the connection between partners. Each expert's advice offers a different lens through which couples can view their relationship, providing a variety of strategies to foster intimacy, communication, and mutual respect.
If you find yourself resonating with the advice given or if you're facing challenges in your relationship that seem daunting, remember that help is available. Each professional highlighted in our roundup brings a unique set of skills and insights to the table. Reaching out to them could provide the support and guidance needed to navigate your relationship's challenges and questions. Whether you are looking to enhance your connection, communicate more effectively, or reignite the spark in your relationship, these experts can offer tailored, compassionate advice to help you achieve a deeper, more fulfilling partnership.
