How Are You Making Sex Enjoyable?

Are you actively doing anything to make your sex life enjoyable? If the answer is "not much," it’s time to reclaim your pleasure. Your pleasure belongs to you—so let’s explore how to build a more fulfilling, satisfying sexual experience that fits your busy and complicated life.

Podcast episode 18:

With just a bit of intention and planning, you can unlock your Pleasure Spectrum. Here’s how:

1. We’ll start with a simple “How Are You Making Sex Enjoyable?” checklist to pinpoint where you can focus.
2. By the end, you’ll have a personalized sexual blueprint to help you prioritize your pleasure and create a sex life that works for you.

Sex doesn’t have to feel like a chore or an afterthought—and it becomes so much more enjoyable when you’re actively involved. By stepping outside your comfort zone, you can transform your sexual experience into something richer, juicier, and deeply satisfying.

Participate, Don’t Spectate

In many relationships, women often play a passive role in initiating sex. Research shows that in long-term, heterosexual relationships, men initiate sex more than three times as often as women. This leaves many women waiting for sex to "happen to them," often resulting in dissatisfaction with what unfolds—and not speaking up about it.

If you’re not putting thought, energy, or intention into your sexual experiences, it’s unlikely they’ll bring you the joy you deserve. This might explain why many women end up putting more energy into avoiding sex than embracing it.

The Myth of Spontaneous Sex

Do you believe that sex should always happen spontaneously? If so, you might be stuck in a rut. While spontaneous sex can be exciting, it can also feel overwhelming or poorly timed—especially when one partner isn’t mentally or emotionally ready.

To truly enjoy sex, you need to shift from expecting spontaneity to embracing intentionality. It starts with taking responsibility for your sexual satisfaction and making a plan to prioritize your pleasure.

Your Pleasure Spectrum

Your Pleasure Spectrum represents the wide range of sensations and experiences your body is capable of enjoying. It’s fluid and ever-evolving, shaped by factors like your mood, cycle, and life stage. No two people’s spectrums are alike, making yours uniquely worth exploring.

By moving beyond the goal of simply achieving orgasm, you can break out of the predictable patterns of “she-cums-first” sex and introduce new depth and creativity to your intimate life. The result? Yummier, more sensual sex that benefits both you and your partner.

Becoming a Sexual Architect

As the architect of your own pleasure, you’ll design a sexual blueprint tailored to your evolving needs and desires. This structured approach can help you:

• Understand your likes and dislikes.
• Set boundaries that protect your comfort and joy.
• Explore new ways to feel pleasure and intimacy.

Sexual Blueprint Exercise

Here’s how to create your sexual blueprint:

1. First Page: What I Don’t Want

   • Label one page “Things I Dislike About Sex.”
   • Without judgment, list anything that doesn’t work for you—whether it’s a specific act, dynamic, or feeling.

2. Second Page: What I Do Want

   • Label the next page “Things I Enjoy About Sex.”
   • Write down everything that brings you joy, fulfillment, or excitement in your sexual experiences.

3. Non-Negotiables

   • Review both lists and identify your non-negotiables—things you absolutely need or can’t tolerate. Mark these clearly.

4. Third Page: Your Ideal Sex Life

   • Create a “Sex Filter” by dividing a page into two columns: “No” for dislikes and “Yes” for loves.
   • Use this as your guide to navigate sexual decisions and communication with your partner.

Why This Matters

Tracking and celebrating small wins in your sexual journey is crucial. Each time you honor a boundary, ask for what you want, or try something new, you strengthen your confidence and connection to your pleasure.

Wrap-Up

If your current sex life isn’t bringing you joy, now is the time to take responsibility and make a change. Your pleasure is worth it. Start by:

• Asking yourself what you want and need.
• Creating a sexual blueprint to guide your journey.
• Exploring your unique Pleasure Spectrum with curiosity and intention.

When you prioritize your pleasure, you elevate not just your own experience but the standard of women’s sexuality as a whole. That makes you a trailblazer in creating a more empowered, fulfilling sexual culture.

Connect With Us: We’d love to hear from you! Follow us on social media at @SensationalSxPodcast, or email your questions to sensationalsexpodcast@gmail.com. We’re rooting for your sex’cess—because you and your pleasure matter.