Intimacy and Self Pleasuring~ Pussy Love
I would like to open up by focusing on some of the sexual issues that impact WOMEN and our sexuality which keeps us challenged when it comes to intimacy.
First, we suffer from an internal chastity belt, our physiological belief about sexuality. Secondly, the shame that suffocates us such as, talking about sex, the seed of sexual shame was planted in our brains when we were little kids; we received subtle messages from our parents, relatives, society and culture that sexual desire and sex was bad. Third, lack of knowledge about our bodies and sex, what it is and what it is suppose to feel like and what to do. Then we have the whole Madonna/whore complex based on how society dictates to us what's beautiful and the way we were brought up which tells women that we need to save ourselves for marriage, and not act or dress too sluttish. Finally, most women have experienced traumatic encounters as children, and also as young adults which impacted their sexuality. These issues also affect the way we communicate, and or intimacy, by being afraid to ask for what we want and also what we Like/don’t like, afraid of being judged or rejected. We have hang ups because, women were taught to be ashamed of our bodies.
What is Intimacy? Into You I See, can be translated as Necked, I see in you and through you.
Intimacy refers to all of the ways, both verbal and non-verbal, in which partners connect with one another and enjoy their unique closeness. What’s left out is intimacy with self, why, as women we are programmed to believe negatively about our bodies, even talking about it. Therefore we are suppressed, or, worse, feel ashamed of our sexuality.
What is Self-pleasuring? Self-pleasure allows us to get acquainted with our bodies. And yet that’s Tabooed, due to religious or cultural beliefs surrounding our sexuality, or a sense of personal shame.
In order to explore intimacy with a partner, you must first be able to be intimate with yourself. Investing time in self-pleasure is the beginning of our journey towards sexual ecstasy; finding out what turns us on and what makes us feel good. Once you’ve come into your personal rhythm, you can use your experience of exploring your own body to help guide future sexual experiences. Then you can communicate effectively to a partner your desires.
My Three (3) Tips On Self Pleasuring.
1. CREATE A SAFE SPACE- I CALL A SACRED SPACE.
It may sound silly, but it can be helpful to "schedule" your self-pleasure sessions, set aside 15-30 minutes so you’re not rushing. Impromptu can, and is fun as well, but there are times you'll want to ensure you have a free house or space and time allocated to yourself. Plus, it can be exciting to have a self-sex session to look forward to. Whatever you decide, create a safe and private space. I recommend the bedroom or that sacred space for ultimate privacy. (Bathrooms are good for quickie and water) Use candles, dim lighting, soft music, and skin oils can also be useful for setting to mood. Do what feels good for you.
2. START BY becoming INTUNE WITH YOUR BODY- A SIMPLE TOUCH
Get comfortable and make sure you are relaxed, experiment with different positions. Using a mirror explore and acquaint yourself with your vulva. Learn about your erogenous zones and the lesser-known arousal points on your body. Break the cycle of subconsciously falling into old touchy feely patterns. Slow down and think about why it feel so good, and is there another method you could try that will increase your pleasure? I came across this platform and I highly recommend it OMGYes. This platform is science-based where women collective share their masturbation stories and includes method tutorials.
3. Use Plenty of LUBE.
Lube isn't only for intercourse and penetration. Lubricant can enhance the sensations you’re feeling, reduce friction and make it easier to self-pleasure. Use it with sex toys or on its own. I especially love these natural brands created for vaginal health and increased pleasure.
If you’re not sure where to get started with shopping, check out my line. My Intimate Tickle brand creates a large selection most 100% body-safe and vegan sex toys.
My Ten (10) Benefits of Intimacy & Self Pleasuring. .
10. Sex and masturbation increase the flow of testosterone in the body, which helps to transport a hormone called DHEA, which is important to the immune system. The extra testosterone also strengthens bones and muscles.
9. It helps reduce headaches, muscle aches, other assorted aches and pains and is a great cure for insomnia.
8. It helps to relax and relieve tension after a stressful day.
7. It may help fight off depression. The endorphins released during sex or masturbation can improve your overall mood.
6. It can improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
5. Research has shown that men who masturbate regularly are less at risk of developing prostate cancer.
4. If you’re not in a relationship, it gives you the sexual release you need.
3. Masturbation also helps combat premature ejaculation. If you can train yourself to last longer solo, then you'll be able to last longer with your partner. Tip: Masturbating an hour or two before you have sexual activity may help delay ejaculation during penetration. This sexual release should reduce your need to climax quickly.
2. Sexual arousal and orgasm produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever. Oxytocin is considered the Love drug, Why? because it has the power to regulate our emotional responses and pro-social behaviors, including trust, empathy, gazing, positive memories, processing of bonding cues, and positive communication
1. For women especially, masturbation allows you to explore and understand your Vulva. Openly exploring pleasure through masturbation helps you to identify the sensations your body experience leading up to orgasm. Regular self pleasuring practice (for men) may also help you learn the signs of an impending orgasm and to find ways to stop the stimulation before orgasm. Finally, you will know exactly what you like when you have intercourse with a partner. These benefits both partners involved, knowing your body
Remember: It's totally normal to masturbate (touching yourself for sexual pleasure) whether you're sexually active with a partner or not, masturbation has health benefits, for example reducing stress. Not to mention it feels good, and should be experienced for pleasure not just as a tension releaser. Let us allow ourselves to be FREE from the Shame society plagued us with.
