Pelvic pain is so common it affects one out of every seven women in the U.S. This discomfort can stem from a variety of sources affecting the bones, muscles, nerves, and skin in the pelvic area.
As a sex therapist, I understand the significant impact that persistent pelvic pain can have on one's overall wellbeing, including sexual wellness, pleasure, and mindset. Experiencing pelvic pain can be surrounded by feelings of shame, frustration, and hopelessness. From being embarrassed to talk about or address what we’re going through, to exhausting ourselves looking for answers and relief, the experience can be deflating. If you haven’t already found this out along your healing journey, you are not alone. Pelvic pain is a more common experience amongst women than we talk about.
Fortunately, there are many self-affirming strategies that can help disrupt the isolating patterns which stem from persistent pelvic pain, allowing you to feel comfortable and present during intimate connections. Through healing the emotional, physical, and psychological aspects of pelvic pain, you can feel empowered to embrace a more satisfying and fulfilling life.
While self-care looks different for everyone, the intention to soothe your nervous system can be universally beneficial, especially for pelvic pain. When we experience pain, we tend to tense up both mentally and physically. Even if we tend more towards numbing or dissociating, that tension is still happening in the background. Nourishing our nervous system can help ease our symptoms. This form of self-care might look like a warm sitz bath, relaxing aromatherapy with lavender essential oil, a calming cup of chamomile tea, or a walk outside listening to the sounds of nature.
Through self-care practice, we are beginning to shift our perspective from the potential annoyance or betrayal we feel towards our body to one of compassion. We shift the experience of helplessness towards finding small ways to help ourselves, opening ourselves up to receiving more support and relief. This perspective shift is a practice of self-care in and of itself and the heart of pelvic pain self-care.
If we’ve felt discouraged or ashamed of our experience, we are not to blame. We are operating under cultural messaging to always be “on” and push through pain. When women finally do seek support, they may search for years before finding a provider that is informed about persistent pelvic pain issues. Navigating pelvic pain can be a lonely experience, but hope lies in building a network of support through self-care and community support via friends, family, and healthcare providers.
If you are seeking relief from persistent pelvic pain, I invite you to explore Reclaiming Sexual Wellness and Pleasure, an online course that can guide you through helpful strategies and practices to restore feelings of safety and gentleness with your body, as well as increase your capacity for experiencing pleasure.
Teresa Johnson, PhD CST
